Abligitory New Years journal. Saying this flat out.posted Jan 1st 2010, 5:14AM
Mood: Scared
Music: Coheed &Cambria - The Reaping
Hey.
I'm that guy. Hockey mask and what not.
This dude ->
Yea.
I did art and stuff...and animations and what not.
Things change. People change. Everything changes eventually.
2009 sucked. It sucked with a passion I cannot describe. There were SOME highlights...which I will go over.
Here we go:
-Had by far the best birthday party ever and I got to celebrate it with Kaku and all my friends.
-Went ape shit with my Xbox 360 ever since I got it last Christmas. So many games played on that thing, like Bioshock, Brutal Legend, BlazBlue, Street Fighter 4, and more. I even went kinda crazy with Xbox Live Arcade. So beautiful.
-Rock Band played a big role in 2009. My Xbox was used in certain cons and gaming events for Rock Band 2 since I had about 70% of the DLC downloaded. It was awesome.
-Met the crew of Destructoid.com. Hung out with them. It was amazing hearing their stories about the video game business.
-Went to Ohio to see Kaku. Met Mel and Spanio again. It was an awesome week full of win.
-Went to Infinite Bits! Go to meet the Nostalgic Critic, Billy Mitchell, Ben Heck, and I got to meet Ego again! It was great.
-Participated in Yasumicon again this year. I was in charge of Rock Band (like always). I even managed to meet and hang out with awesome video game cover band, ARM CANNON! Such amazing, awesome, and talented guys. They were such a trip to hang out with. They also pulled off an awesome concert which I enjoyed very much. I even bought their latest CD WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IN YOU GETTING! IT'S AMAZING!
-Christmas went well. The main highlights this Christmas was getting a NEW 22 inch flat screen HD monitor for my computer and Volumes 1 and 2 of The Ultimates! Everything else was either clothes, money, or food.
-Got to know alot of my friends better.
-Hung out for a weekend at Hollywood, Florida at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. Saw Watchmen, went to the pool, enjoying the fine dining, and live the life for 3 days with my friends. It was freakin amazing.
-Went to alot of parties.
-Managed to get back with an old friend of mine and patched things up. It was good to see him again.
-Played many awesome PC games this year! Team Fortress 2 especially! That was the game I played the most this year. Such an awesome game. Thank to TF2, I'm slowly becoming a PC gamer. I got so many games on Steam right now, I'm actually in shock (I pretty much own everything Valve has ever created). I even got Champions Online. Played that too. Been playing on my PC so much that I neglected my Xbox for quite awhile. It was worth it though.
Now...you think with all of that, I should be fine with 2009...well...let's look at the bad:
-Papa John's is affecting my health. Been getting frequent headaches and getting TOO stressed with the job. I cried, had panic attacks, threw up, and more at that job. I can't stand it anymore.
-Lost a big opportunity to work for Comcast Digital Cable as a cable guy, but due to some bullcrap with my driving record (I got a ticket for not fully stopping at a stop sign, WHICH WAS BULLSHIT CAUSE I DID STOP!). Cause of that, I lost the job...after I busted my ass waking up every morning at 6 AM to drive 15 miles to where the place is...to do physical and mental training for an entire week...and then drive another 15 miles back home...during rush hour traffic. Fuck you Comcast.
-My computer broke. It's fixed now, but now it's under constant maintenance and I feel it's about to die any day now. At least it can still play games without crapping out.
-Got sick the week before Christmas. Still sick. Also, had to take off a week of work cause I was sick...AND I had to cover the shifts of 2 of my fellow employees...cause they decided to take 2 weeks off to go on vacation. Fuck you Papa Johns.
-My friends Niero, the founder and current owner of Destructoid.com, and Rey, Destructoid's video editor, moved to San Francisco. I'm happy that they're going to bigger and better places to further progress Destructoid into something bigger and more awesome, but I'm still going to miss those guys. :(
-My car windows broke. My tires (3 out of 4) needed to be replaced cause they blew out. My axle needed to be realigned since I was leaking transmission fluid. I also needed to clean out my radiator. Plus, replaced my sparkplugs. Yea, my car was dying through out the year...and it sucked...drained alot of money from my pocket.
-When Kaku was down here, we went to a Masquerade Ball that was being done by the Anime Club that I go to every Thursday. The event was done to raise money for Child's Play (the Penny Arcade charity) and the music for the event was fitting for a masquerade done by anime fans: Japanese waltzes and dance music from Japan (J-Pop and SOME J-Rock). Due to the greed, power abuse, and just stupidity of the club's Treasurer...him as well as 2 girls conspired to take over the event for the 'majority'. Now only did they cause the club president (and my real good friend) to get arrested for a crime he DID NOT COMMIT (there was witnesses), but they managed to kick him out of the event long enough to take over. They switched the ENTIRE playlist used for the night to more 'mainstream bull crap' (booty music, hip hop, the electric slide, cha cha slide, the macarena, etc.). They ruined the entire thing for everyone to appease to the very people that shun the Anime Club from the rest of FIU. They ruined our night and got my friend arrested. In the end, they got what was coming to them, and they paid for their crimes for what they did (as well for ALOT of the messed up crap they did in the past), but the damage was done.
-Spent quite a bit of money to try to repair my friend's red ringed Xbox...in the end...after spending close to 100 dollars, I managed to make it work...for 3 days until it red ringed again. If I want to properly fix it...I need 150 dollars to get a 'reflow set'. Fuck that...and fuck you Microsoft for being cheap in making your products.
-I didn't get to go to either SGC or AX. :(
-Lost quite a bit of money of a fuck up I did when trying to book a hotel...only to cancel the reservation a couple of days later. Didn't know there was a FREAKIN GIANT FEE FOR DOING THAT! Fuck you Expedia.
-FUCK YOU VINCE MCMAHON FOR RUINING WHAT LITTLE DIGNITY THE WWE HAD AND RAMMED IT SO FAR DOWN THE GROUND, EVEN THE UNDERTAKER IS LIKE "Shit...".
-FUCK YOU STEPHANIE MEYER FOR CREATING ONE OF THE BIGGEST PIECES OF LITERARY GARBAGE IN HISTORY! THANKS TO YOU, NOW TWEENIE GIRLS WANT PALE EMO GUYS FOR BOYFRIENDS AND NOW HAVE VAMPIRE/BITING/BLOOD FANTASIES AND FETISHES! YOU RUINED AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF GIRLS! FUCK YOU!
-FUCK YOU MTV! YOU AND YOU'RE BOTCHED AWARD SHOWS, CRAPPY ASS TELEVISION, AND RUINING MUSIC!
-A HUGE FUCK YOU TO ACTIVISION! YOU RUINED THE MUSIC GAME GENRE FUCKERS! HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! SCREW YOU AND YOU'RE MODERN WARFARE 2!
-and now...for the main course. The number 1 thing that made 2009 sucked...so...bad. Deaths. There were alot of deaths this year...mainly towards celebrities. 2 celebrity deaths affected me the most. The death of Les Paul, the creator of the Les Paul electric guitar, and Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan, the drummer for Avenged Sevenfold. Les Paul is an inspiration to all guitarists. Without him, who knows how rock music would be like today. As for The Rev...A7X is one of my favorite bands...period. They're high up there on my favorites list, probably in the Top 5. Rev is one of the best drummers I have ever seen and heard. He was also a talented singer and song writer (he wrote the song "A Little Piece of Heaven" from A7X's self titled album). He will be missed and it hit me hard when I heard of his death. Who knows what plans A7X have now since he's gone, but they deserve the break. My condolences to the Sullivan family. Hopefully, he's resting in peace. Though his death hit me...I wasn't expecting what happened when January 1st, 2009 rolled around.
2009 started...horrible. It started with a death. I saw my grandfather die right before my eyes at the hospital.
Growing up, I was rather close to my grandfather. Such a kind soul, but he was also stern. He was also one of the hardest working men I have ever met. I remember he would take me to summer school while I was doing homework in the car at the last minute. I remember him sitting down, drinking a beer, watching Kung Fu flicks while he was talking to me about my day. He would always screw around with my sister and I, taking things from us saying "This is mine!", only to give it back to us knowing he was just joking around. He even tought me to say bad words in Spanish, which I thought was hilarious. I had many found memories of my grandfather....but ever since he got that stroke....the suffering began. He suffered for more than a year and a half...always going in and out of the hospital....he began to degrade. He was regressing to the mind of a child...he became a vegetable. The man I knew as my grandfather died mentally...as his body was slowly withering. It was on this day last year that the suffering finally ended...and I was there to witness it.
It was heart wrenching. Still is. I wanted to spend the day today...alone...to reminisce on everything which made him great...but I can't, thanks to 2 fucking airheaded tards who took A 2 WEEK LONG VACATION WITH NO PAY WHICH MY MANAGER FORGOT! BECAUSE OF THOSE 2 GIRLS AND MY MANAGER'S NEGLIGENCE, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY GRANDFATHER'S DEATH! FUCK! YOU! I swear to God, this is the breaking point. One more little tiff and I quit. Done. Over. The money is not worth the stress and stupidity this job brings anymore. Enough is enough.
Which brings me to the future:
The future. FUCK! EVERYTHING!
This past Christmas...one of the members of my family said something that really hit me in the heart...and he was right.
"You're a Gonzalez. Meaning, you're a martyr."
He was right...my dad's side of the family are full of martyrs.....sacrificing yourself for the benefit of others without thinking of yourself.
I admit, I'm a martyr.
I call it "The Gonzalez Curse".
I've done...so much shit over the years...pretty much my entire life...to make everyone happy...that I thought that if I make people happy...I'm happy.
Then why don't I feel that way.
One of my good friends today...I had a very long talk with him about what's going on with my life right now...lasted for hours. He opened my eyes on alot of things. Things I must do. Things I must accomplish. Things I may end up ripping my heart for.
2010 is going to be a year long open heart surgery for me...
Change is going to happen...a transformation is going to occur...I'm not going to like the transformation process...I'm scared shitless of it...but if the transformation is a success...I may end up achieving something I wanted to get my hands on for a very...very long time.
This year...the curse will be broken. It's about time I start thinking of myself....and it's going to hurt...alot.
Anyways, have a happy new year everyone. Excuse the tl;dr. If you read it all, thank you. If not, well, sorry for wasting your time.
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